We have been planning a trip to New York City for after Christmas. Started making the plans and figuring out the details. Confirmed the best dates and where to stay. Confirmed the prices and times for the flight. We knew the activities we wanted to do while there. None of it purchased and booked but all of the, um, “concepts of a plan” falling into place.
We have long hosted Christmas Eve dinner and gift opening at our house for the family as is my wife’s family tradition. None of our plans would have interfered with any of that. In fact, we had specifically planned around this certainty.
This year, there was much uncertainty developing with other family members plans for that time. Were my wife’s cousins from Norway coming or not coming? Were her Aunt and Uncle, who normally are with us for Christmas, going to be around this year or, is that entire side of the family going to go to meet in Chicago for the one kid who might not be able to get off work? Would we then be compelled to join them in order to spend Christmas with the rest of that family? If so where would that leave my Dad who has no one else here to be with on Christmas? And, perhaps a lynchpin of all of this… How can we go on the trip we had already invested much time planning and were looking forward to?
So many unanswered questions, most of which we have no control over and can’t plan around. So much uncertainty that was adding stress and anxiety to an already uncertain and emotion filled time of year.
So, this morning, Bethany and I talked through it all. We talked through the stress and uncertainty and what ifs and what nots and unpacked the emotions surrounding it all and came to this…
What is the one thing we can control and decide on right now that would make things that much easier? What is the one, disposable thing that would actually make all of the other things that much easier to handle and react to?
Our trip.
But, emotionally, we have to bring ourselves to a place of acceptance with that. Mourn the loss but also have an understanding that all of that planning we had done was not wasted. In fact, it made it that much easier to decide to do it in the future. Next year, perhaps.
So, we’ve decided to let it go.
Sometimes, you have to be able to let go of the things you can control in order to be in the best position to react to the things you can’t.