Category: post

My daughter, Beatrix, takes violin lessons. She uses a quarter sized violin that has been passed around ious members of my wife’s family for years until they grew to a larger size. We knew, because of its age and use, that it would need a little bit of maintenance after it was passed to her. New strings were needed and handled by her teacher. But, the bow needed to be re-haired and that is best done by a professional. So, I took it to a local Luthier who came recommended highly by her teacher.
Walking into his shop was immediately stirring. Violins, violas, and the random cello were everywhere. The smell of old wood and off-gassing lacquer filled my nose. all of this coupled with a gentle greeting by the Luthier gave one the immediate sense that this was a kind of chapel. A sacred temple for the practice, care, and continuation of an ancient art.
I gave him the violin, showed him the bow, and explained what I needed. I commented on some of the other items I noticed may be needed, beyond just the bow, to get his expert opinion. Perhaps it was the way I asked my questions or understood his answers but something caused him to ask, “Do you play?”
I explained to him that I grew up in a very musical family. My Grandmother was a concert classical pianist. My mother also plays at that level. And, my siblings all play at a concert performance level as well. Growing up, learning an instrument was considered as much of a part of my education as school itself. It was required.
I further explained there is a wild “writer” gene in my family that, like a random quark, strikes certain members with that ability and seems to knock out whatever talent or desire to excel at an instrument may exist in them. I told him that I did take both violin and cello lessons as a kid but, have not played in years. I told him that, lately, I have felt a pull to pick up instruments I abandoned as a child and play them again. My daughter takes piano, voice, and music theory as well and seems to pick things up quickly. I told him getting her to practice violin was sometimes a struggle though, despite the fact she’s pretty good and a fast learner.
He said, gently, “You should play. Not just for yourself, but for her. But, more than that, you should let her teach you. If you let her teach you what she is learning, because of your age and past experience, you’ll catch on quickly and it’ll make her feel like a good teacher. It will empower her and make her feel in control. This will make her a more confident player. Then, practice will no longer be drudgery but something fun you do together.”
I was struck dead in my tracks by this idea. It seemed at once mysterious and obvious. Like he was telling me a secret I already knew but hadn’t yet believed.
At Beatrix’s next lesson, I told her teacher about this conversation and she thought it was a fantastic idea. “I have a whole closet full of full size violins. You’re welcome to borrow one.” Done.
So, I have now taken several “lessons” from Beatrix, and the results of both her interest, learning, and time spent practicing teaching are like the difference between night and day. No fighting, struggle, or argument over practicing. None of her getting frustrated or bored after five minutes. None of my feeling like getting her to practice is like getting her to swallow cod liver oil. We simply have fun playing her lessons together and, on average, do so for a half hour or more. It’s great and some of the best time I’ve spent in the last few weeks.
I suspect as well that this would work just as well with sports, or dance, or anything that requires similar practice. So, if you have a similar struggle around practice time at your house, perhaps try letting your kids teach you.

My most popular book, enough is being re-released today after a few weeks of being unavailable for sale. Enough is a series of essays that explore the idea of living a life with just enough of what you need and proposing some strategies to get there.
I wont bore you with the details of why it was out of stock, I’ll suffice to say it was some behind the scenes business changes. I’m excited this is back out there as the ideas that I put into the book will be featured in the upcoming documentary, Minimalism which I was interviewed for and will be touring the country soon.
As part of the change the title is now available to Kindle Unlimited subscribers for free. If you are a member of that, then I’d be honored if you added it and took the time to read.
If you have yet to get a copy, consider getting it for yourself or someone you love in Paperback or Amazon Kindle
In addition, I also am now offering personally signed copies of some of my titles. This is a paperback — each one signed personally by me to you (or, if you prefer, anyone you wish). To buy a one, click one of the links below:
enough
This Could Help
Minimal Mac

…For the better. Even if it’s just for a little bit. But, my goal is to change it for the better for good. So that you are just a bit happier or a bit better.
That’s why I write. I know that if I put out enough posts, or enough books, or share the right things that one of them, eventually, will make someone’s life somewhere out there just a little better.
But why? Why do I care? Why does such hope give me such a deep amount of satisfaction? Why do I spend so much time and effort on it?
I believe the best way to make the world around me a better, friendlier, and stronger place to live in is to help others that occupy it with me be better, friendlier, and stronger. It can’t be done alone. I can’t change the world only by being better, friendlier, and stronger myself. So, I try to change others lives too.
Maybe it is egotistic and foolhardy to think I can have that sort of impact. And, maybe I can’t. But, I can try. And every victory, no matter small or large, tells me that I can. If I write enough or care enough or offer enough that, eventually, I can make someone’s life a little bit better and by doing so I can make the world incrementally better.
When I die, I want the people I’ve helped to be the largest asset I leave behind so that a happier world may be my children’s greatest inheritance. And I believe that can be done one word, one action, and one opportunity, at a time.

When it comes to the things I use, especially those I rely on every day, I want to use only things that have been proven as much as possible. Proven to work. Proven to last. Proven over time and use.

This is fairly easy and straight forward to find in the offline world. For instance, I gravitate towards and enjoy using pen and paper because it is proven. As a tool it works, lasts, requires nothing else, has been around for hundreds of years, and is used almost everywhere so is easy to find. Other tools are proven too. Hammers are proven, for example. Nail guns may be a quicker way to drive a nail but require power and have a hundred ways they can fail or break. A hammer always works.

In the online world, it’s a bit more difficult to find things that are proven. Things change quickly. Formats and applications come and go. What’s hot today is gone and unsupported tomorrow in too many cases. Experience has taught me not to rely on many of these things or to be too quick to jump on board new things that come along. They aren’t proven.

Yet, there are some things in the online world that are proven — at least as far as such things can be in the world of technology. Here are two examples: Plaintext and Email. Plaintext (.txt) as a format is proven. It has been around in some form or another since the dawn of modem computing. Email, the basic plaintext form of it, has been around long enough to be considered such. These are things I trust. Things I have used for a long time, work today much the same as they always have, and the chance of continuing to work far into the future is high. Plus, they’re practically universal. Practically everyone who is online has an email address. Practically every computer can open a plaintext file.

This doesn’t mean I won’t use things that aren’t proven. I will and sometimes do. But I don’t place my faith or trust in them until they are proven. I don’t pretend they will be around forever and I always have an escape plan for when they inevitably go away. I don’t go all in on a new thing, especially if it means abandoning something proven.

So, when people ask me why I love and prefer email over [Insert latest email killer here] it’s because email is proven. It’s why I don’t use the latest note taking app or word processor. It’s why you won’t find me hoping on the latest new social thingamajig or chatting whatnot or blogging whozit. And while I watch those things come and go and their users jump on and off them, I’ll still be here using the same proven tools I have for-what-might-as-well-be-ever and getting the things I want to do done.

My iPhone 5 has reached the stage where the battery lasts not quite a day in my regular use. I have clung to this model long past its reasonable life, it seems. Low power mode, a feature of iOS 9, has helped. But, on especially busy days where I’m not near a charging source to plug into for a bump mid-day means it will not last until the end even then.
I have no desire to upgrade just now, though I am due, as the larger size of the iPhone 6 line neither appeals to me nor fits the way I use the device. In fact, the move from the iPhone 4 to the 5 pushed it past my comfort and preference as it was — so I have no desire to go even further beyond. The majority prefers a larger phone and screen, apparently, which is fine. I never felt the tug to be part of the crowd. The rumor is that Apple is making a phone for people like me. One closer in size to the iPhone 4. If so, I will be delighted.
I have been using a battery case on my iPhone 5 for the past couple of weeks. This certainly gives me more life and allows the battery to last the day most days. The problem is, of course, such a case adds the size issues that I have specifically tried to avoid by upgrading and makes the device less usable to me. So, I’m removing the battery case. It’s more hindrance than solution.
Thankfully, I have another option available to me that others might not even consider. One that might be helpful to others as well. One that may help the battery last throughout the day or, at least, longer than it otherwise has been without the battery case… Use the iPhone less. Less "checking in" on Twitter. Less taking photos. Less using it to write. If the battery does die, prematurely, before I’m able to connect it to a power source, I’ll learn to be comfortable with that. Let it die.
The one solace we have with all of our devices is that there’s a sure and true way to deal with any issue with it we encounter with them: There’s always an off switch.

The following post contains excerpts from:
Mindfulness for Mere Mortals — A Minimal Guide
The latest in my Minimal Guide series contains everything you need to know to develop the processes and habits needed to maintain inner peace. If you’ve always wondered what mindfulness and meditation were about or have struggled to develop a practice of your own, this contains all you need to get started and keep going.
In addition, the eBook is a “living” guide. It will be updated as more questions, feedback, thoughts, and topic ideas not yet covered come up. The book currently contains a lot more than the preview below. And there are even more great sections to come. As updates are made, those who have purchased a copy will receive notification of future versions available free download.

Buy it today!
If you want a preview of what the book is all about, keep reading…

Take a few seconds or a minute and close your eyes. Try, really hard, to notice every sound you hear.
When I close my eyes right now, I hear the cats playing upstairs, I hear cars rushing past in the distance (we live near a busy street), I hear the the quiet hum and whine of household appliances, and snow blowers still busy after recent snow. These are things I don’t really notice when going about my day. Yet, in my home these things are still there, my mind simply filters them out as unimportant background noise. I’m focused on seeing and thinking and doing.
The truth is that we spend most of our lives missing out on most of what is going on around us. We have limited capacity and our minds prioritize our focus according to our needs and desires. Needs and desires come from a dissatisfaction with the present. The want of something else, something more, something that does not yet exist.
Yet to be fully in the present we must de-prioritize needs and desires in lieu of what is here and now. Because our capacity cannot prioritize both the future and the present. It must choose. And, it is dissatisfaction (Dukkha) that causes us to choose to focus on what’s next.
So, the true goal of mindfulness is to miss out on less of what is going on around us by prioritizing the here and now. To hear more and see more and be aware of more on a moment by moment basis.
It’s not easy. It takes sacrifice — letting go. It means closing your eyes sometimes (to focus on hearing) and plugging your ears others (to focus on seeing). It means taking time regularly to just sit, not do, and take it all in. It is the opposite of everything the little voice in our head tells us we should be doing.
But, it is entirely possible. Like any other thing, it will come easy to some and others it may take a lifetime. But, you don’t have to be a saint or a monk. Mindfulness is completely doable for mere mortals like you and I — It just takes practice. Training your brain to respond to the future with phrases like, "that’s interesting" or, "Not right now please" and trust that the idea or need or desire will return when the time is right. Because it will, if it was worth anything.

So, did you do it?

That thing I mentioned in the very first paragraph? That whole close your eyes and listening thing? For how long? A few seconds? A minute? Five minutes?
Well, guess what you just did? You meditated! You’re a friggin’ zen monk rock star! Pat yourself on the back.
Seriously, it might have seemed like nothing you expected or have been told in the past meditation is. Don’t believe anyone who tells you you need to sit in lotus position (which I still can’t do after trying for years) and focus on some imaginary dot breathing in and out through specific blowholes. That’s meditation too but it is usually served with a lot of elitist dressing poured over it.
The truth is that even just taking a few moments to stop, be present, and observe as fully as possible the world around you counts just as much as meditation as any full on two week zen retreat. And you, mere mortal, can do that. A five-year-old can.
At the very least a few seconds is a perfect place to start. A small bit that anyone can do at anytime and anywhere. A small practice that you can build on.
Next time you are at the grocery store in a line that you wish was moving faster, try closing your eyes for a few seconds and pick out all of the sounds around you. As you focus in on each one simply acknowledge it and move along to the next. Right there, in that few seconds, you’ll find you were not focused on the frustration of a slow line. For just a few seconds you were present instead of worrying about a problem that is out of your control. For just a few seconds you were neither angry or happy — you just were. That’s meditation.
And, if you can do that in a long line in a grocery store, you can do that at work in a boring meeting, you can do it in the shower, you can do it anywhere.
And, if you can do it for a few seconds with ease you can double it the next time and double it again the next time after that. It can scale.
Do it enough and five seconds won’t feel like five minutes. Five minutes won’t feel like five hours. In fact, eventually you’ll have experiences where time simply ceases to exist, feeling wise. In fact, you’ll go so deep that an hour of sitting will pass and you’ll feel like you just sat down a few seconds ago (I didn’t believe this either until it happened to me). With practice, you’ll be into some next level zen ninja stuff.
But, it starts with just a few seconds.

Why meditate?

OK, this is going to sound a little hokey. Even I blush a little still when I tell people because I know half the people I tell it to will roll their eyes in a "Yeah, right!" gesture. But here it is…
Peace
Meditation, if practiced regularly and used prescriptively will bring the practitioner inner peace. It’s as simple as that. But, like the seconds that turn into minutes that turn into hours, peace also will scale in parallel to your meditation practice. Put simply, the more you meditate, the better you will get at it, the more at peace you will experience and feel.

How does meditation give you peace?

Because meditation helps you see the world, and your self in it, for what it is — not what you wish it to be. Meditation will help you learn to focus your energy on the things you can change — right here and now — and ignore the things you can’t (especially that which is not right here and now). When your energy is then focused on direct action on changing that which causes you suffering, discomfort, and stress, you will change it. You will learn to simply let go of those feelings for the things you can’t change.
There’s those "Yeah, sure, right?" eye rolls again.
Really, it’s true. Let’s go back to that long grocery line and break down the things you can do about it. Let’s assume there are no other shorter faster lines. Here’s your choices…

1. Leave and not get groceries. There, problem solved. At least the waiting one is. You still need groceries.
2. Wait and get frustrated. Does that make the line move faster? Does that change anything but making you even more angry and frustrated and dissatisfied?
3. Wait and know that there is nothing to do but wait. Be OK with the wait. Be at peace with waiting.

Now, only one of those choices will bring you peace. The one where you paused in your frustration and took the time to see what you could do about the problem and choose the one that brought you peace. That is mindfulness. That is meditation. That is peace.
And, once you can learn how to approach a grocery line with mindfulness you can learn how to approach every single moment that way. No matter the situation. No matter how bad it seems or how much it hurts. With practice, you can bring yourself peace anytime and anywhere in any situation.

Once again, it’s not easy…

I don’t even consider myself all that good at it. Put me behind the wheel of a car and you will see my mindfulness fly out the drivers side window most days. But, just because my practice is not always perfect it does not mean I don’t know what the answer and solution is. I know it takes practice and, for me, it may take a whole lot more.
How much more? I have no idea. That’s future. If I focus on that I’ve already lost — I can’t put any action or effort there because it doesn’t exist. Not yet, at least, and maybe never. I can only put action and effort on today. I can’t even go back and say sorry to that driver who I flipped off when he cut in front of me and he wouldn’t likely apologize in return. That’s past and it can’t be changed. All I can do is, when I feel the road rage coming, take a second or two to be present, weigh my responses, and choose the one that brings me the most peace. It’s the only thing I can control. Because the one that brings me the most peace is the one that benefits me the most. If it sounds "selfish" it’s because it is. And that’s OK if it also benefits those around me and, by extension, the world at large. And how could the world not benefit from any one or all of us being a bit more at peace?

Dealing with dukkha.

That is really what it is all about. And, since I assume your knowledge of Sanskrit is poor at best, you are asking yourself what the heck dukkha is. Turns out, Wikipedia has a very good article on it. It’s one of the better written articles I’ve come across on there. I urge you to go read it. Here’s how it starts:

Dukkha (Pāli; Sanskrit: duḥkha; Tibetan: སྡུག་བསྔལ་ sdug bsngal, pr. "duk-ngel") is a Buddhist term commonly translated as "suffering", "anxiety", "stress", or "unsatisfactoriness". The principle of dukkha is one of the most important concepts in the Buddhist tradition. The Buddha is reputed to have said: "I have taught one thing and one thing only, dukkha and the cessation of dukkha."

So, dukkha is a fairly broad and all encompassing idea. One that is used to describe all of the general dissatisfactions of life. Not having enough, not getting what we want, physical pain, heartbreak, wishing for a better life, over indulgence, and on and on — all of these and more are dukkha. In other words, our daily lives are filled with dukkha. And, because we are creatures that, for the most part, don’t like to feel bad, much of our lives are also filled with looking for ways to lessen our dukkha. Which creates a paradox, because dukkha can also come from the desire to have less dukkha and the work chasing the wrong solutions. As long as we have dukkha we can not have complete peace. Peace will come when we learn how to properly deal with the dukkha.
So, how do we deal with the dukkha? Mindfulness. How do we achieve mindfulness? Meditation.

Do you have ten minutes?

Of course you do. Everyone does. And if you can’t spare ten minutes for meditation — ten minutes to be at peace — then you should really reexamine your priorities in life. I can’t help you and you should come back when you can. But, I’m going to assume that you can. We are going to take ten minutes to meditate. You and I, right after this little chapter where I’m going to teach you how step-by-step. I’m also going to cover some important details in each step — explanations as to why and how certain things work. Because I found that knowing the steps is not nearly as valuable as understanding them.
Also, find a way to let yourself know when the ten minutes is up. If you have a smartphone you can set a timer with it. Kitchen timers work great but I find the buzzer a bit jarring when they go off and coming out of a peaceful meditation session with a loud alarm is no fun at all. So, whatever you find, it may be nice to have a gentle alarm.
OK, here we go…

1. Sit. Find somewhere to sit that is comfortable and you can sit up straight. You don’t have to sit cross legged or in "lotus" or on a zafu cushion. The reason you see many doing so or read meditation guides that advocate it is that these, in general, force one to assume good posture and sit up straight. But, you can sit up straight almost anywhere. If you can’t, try lying down on your back. The point of all of this posture stuff is to make it easy to breathe. Breathing deep and long — good in-and-out breaths. And for that you need to use your lungs and your diaphragm. And breathing is going to be very important for this. So, sit so that you can take nice, long, breaths.
2. Focus your attention on your breath. Why breath? Why do all of these hoodoo guru zen geeks always want you to focus on your breath? Because it is one place of focus we all have. It’s universal. One place we all can return to when our mind wanders. No matter our physical condition or place or anything else that may be going on, if you are alive, you are breathing. If you have a pulse you have breath. When you sit and close your eyes and your mind immediately starts popping with all the other things you should be doing or have to be doing during this ten minutes, directing your attention back to your breath is something all living humans can do. So, take a few minutes now just to focus on your breath just to know what you need to do. Feel it flowing in and out? Got it? Good.
3. Are you sitting up straight and comfortable and do you know how to focus on your breath? Good. Now, set your timer and close your eyes. Why? Less distractions. Heck, if you have ear plugs that help with noise distractions but still let you hear your alarm then do that a too. The more you can pro-actively deal with distractions the better. Because, your mind will have plenty of fun thinking up things to distract you with because the last thing it wants is peace and quiet. It has grown very accustomed to constant distraction and a sense of being busy. You have helped it along with all of your dukkha — your shoulds and coulds and wants and needs. Your brain will need to be retrained to want this more. Once again, it’s not easy and it takes time but it can be done and this is how you do it.
4. As your eyes are closed and you you are focused on on your breath, you’ll start to think about the laundry or the errands or the work thing or… You get the idea. It’s OK. That’s normal. As things pop into your head, acknowledge them, visualize them briefly, and think to yourself, "Not right now. Come back later.", and then visualize them going away before returning your focus to your breath.

Got it? Great. Now, stop reading and go off and give it a try. I’ll wait right here…

How’d it go?

In general, folks have one of two responses which I will paraphrase here:

1. "Great! Was that only ten minutes? Felt like nothing at all. I could have gone for hours."
2. "Um, I only lasted about a minute and a half. Then, I remembered I needed to RSVP to a Facebook event and, well, this is stupid and I’ll never be able to do it."

If you are at number one, stop reading. You don’t need this. Just consider making this a daily practice.
If you are in the number two camp, well, so was I at first. Welcome to the club. If it makes you feel better, we are the normal ones. The ones who get this right off the bat are the weirdos. Although, believe me, I wish I was one of the weird ones. But I’m not and wishing is dukkha so…
The point being that this will take practice. You will likely fail a lot at first. Every time you go to sit for meditation you will question the point because you have yet to sit for long enough to see it. But, trust me, keep at it — ten minutes every day — and you’ll begin to wonder why you have not been doing this all your life. Then, you’ll figure out that if ten minutes of this is good then twenty minutes must be great. And you may struggle with that longer amount at first but now at least you know, from having worked hard to get to ten, that twenty is perfectly doable.

Much more in included in the book with even more on the way…

Buy it today!

At a party, you will find me being gregarious and able to easily engage in conversation with others. At a conference, I have little problem discussing the points of the speaker or opening a dialog in the hallways with fellow attendees. When I was a student in class, I never had an issue with raising my hand and asserting my view when called upon. I even engage store clerks with friendly trivial banter about the quality of the day. “Quiet” is not the first word that would come to mind to describe me — even by those who know me well or have known me for a long time.
What they often don’t see at the party is that I have specifically chosen one or two people I know and singled them out. I engage them in a deep discussion so that I can focus only on them and try my hardest to tune out the rest of the surroundings. They probably don’t notice that, even then, I find an empty room or a space outside in which to disappear for twenty minutes at a time. So I can sit there, alone, and recharge my internal batteries enough to go back to the party. They likely don’t know that by the end of the night I feel as though I’ve ran a race, in the rain, all up hill. Every nerve in my body feels taxed and my emotions wrung out to dry.
Those at the conference could not possibly know that it has taken me years to muster up the energy to attend. That if not for some very important topic or unmissable speaker I would never have come. That until I run into someone I know or meet someone I can engage with one-on-one, my overwhelming instinct is to find the nearest exit and run out of it as fast as I can. That it will be another few years before I can face another event like this. That I need to block off a full week following this one with as little human contact as possible so I can rest my spirit enough to engage with anyone outside of my immediate family.
When I was in high school, I often skipped less important or uninteresting classes because I could just not be in a single room with thirty other people for a moment longer. I would walk back home or go to a nearby park, recharge, grab a quiet bite to eat, or read a book. Only then would I walk back to school for my next class. If I had an English or History class, both of which I participated in and loved, you could almost guarantee I would sometimes opt-out of whatever class followed those. How do you explain to a school counselor that, ideally, you need one class period unscheduled following every one you have scheduled? That time alone in a room with a good book is as important to your education and well being as any class you could take during that time? You don’t. I didn’t. So, I skipped. Let’s just say it made no one very happy and my grades in no way reflected my ability or intelligence.
My introversion was even a surprise to me initially when personality tests called it out. In fact, my first time taking a Meyers-Briggs Personality Assessment, I questioned my MBTI score enough that I decided to take many more, at different times, to see if they would come out the same. They all did. I’m an INFJ (Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging). Introversion in the MBTI does not always mean someone who can’t be social or behave in ways that the world would perceive as outgoing. In fact, many famous people and leaders would also fall in the Introversion spectrum. For instance, Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela are all INFJs.
I’m friendly. I can assert my thought or opinion when asked (and many times when not). I like having good, meaningful, conversations with friends and strangers alike. I can get up in front of large audiences and speak without overwhelming anxiety. While if given the choice between going to a party or convention or staying home alone I will choose the latter, that does not mean I don’t generally find value in the former. I just know which one will give me energy and fuel my spirit and which interactions will deplete them. It is this difference, hidden to many, that defines my status as an Introvert.
Not all introverts are hidden in our extrovert biased world because we are quiet. In fact, some of us are hidden because we are not quiet. We are able to hide it or we have personalities that cause us to appear otherwise externally. So, when thinking of the word “quiet” in relation to introverts, think not about how we act in the world at large but, instead, how we need to react to it to survive.

I have long wanted to take a private/personal retreat of some kind. Last Christmas, my best friend Dawn gave me the gift of one — telling me to simply choose what I wanted and she would take care of any needed details. I searched for through the many option in the area, but kept coming back to a Franciscan based hermitage retreat called Pacem in Terris (Latin for “Peace on Earth”). My Birthday fell at the end of last week and I felt it would be perfect timing to spend it there in solitude and reflection.
Like Thoreau’s Walden Pond cabin, each hermitage is a small, single room cabin with an attached screen porch. Each one is sparely appointed with just the essentials — a bed, a rocking chair, a small table, a couple of stations for washing and cooking, and a small altar for those who wish to pray. A delicious basket of food is supplied and refreshed daily — a couple of loaves of (oh-my-goodness-so-delicious!) homemade bread, some fruit, some local cheese, and some jugs of water. They have been doing this for years so every amenity is well thought out and centered around reducing any stress or desire.
A retreat into solitude like this is impossible to convey in mere words. One has to really experience it and come away with their own impressions. For me, it was lovely and peaceful and restful and I highly encourage everyone to seek out such a place near them and allow themselves such a gift. But I felt, at the least, I could share some of the thoughts I wrote down about it. What follows are all direct passages I wrote in my journal during and after, offered in no particular order other than flow…
In many ways a solitary journey into the wilderness is, in equal measure, a journey into the wilderness of self. Just as the path into the woods draws us further away from civilization until all one can see in any direction is nature, so too is the truth of our own nature revealed. We can finally see our thoughts without noise or hinderance of distractions and obligations.
One of the interesting things about being out in nature with nothing to do but listen, notice, and ponder, is that one’s attention becomes more acute. When the leaves are blown by the wind, after time one stops hearing a whoosh and rustle and begins to hear each leaf knocking against another. Instead of one great sound one hears a collection of individual ones. Acorns falling to the ground sound like heavy raindrops in rapid succession and not a short storm. So too it becomes with our own thoughts — no longer are they a fleeting cacophony bombarded by many outside inputs — here, in the stillness, we can see and examine each one for what it is without the fear of loosing it.
Thoreau knew the secret. His journals make so much more sense to me now! I can understand how focused and excited he gets over the smallest things. How the way the snow caps or the lake shimmers can be worth a thousand word ode. Because, it is the way one sees them when in wilderness (external/internal). One would notice both each sparkle of snowflake and whole of a storm all at once. Just as I, sitting in the middle of this field, am alive to each swaying blade of grass and the whole of the prairie at once. I could surely write a thousand word ode to this!
The reality of how much this is missed in our daily lives was when I began to realize how much of an incredible luxury this seemed. Almost as if to be able to have such time and to experience such a thing were to enjoy something far beyond the means of most. For a short time I dealt with almost feeling ashamed at enjoying such fortune. To have the time, however short or long, to ponder both that which is all around us and that which is deep inside. To not have to rush through it all. To watch grasses sway and dragonflies dance on a crisp Autumn breeze while I examine each thought before sending it along without care for a next action. To have such things be the only thing I do.
Ask yourself, when was the last time your were alone. Not just alone in the sense of not having another person around but alone in the completest sense of having no distractions, obligations, tasks, next steps, “should be doings”, or “have to be doings”? Like me before this, I bet the answer was “never”. I feel like I’m now a member of some small, secret, select club. One who not only holds a secret but knows what it means. The impact it could have if more in our modern society knew it. It may sound absurdly grandiose yet I feel it does not begin to touch the surface. This experience changed me. I went into the wilderness one way and returned from it another — better equipped and seeing clearer.
I implore to all who might read this one day — go out there, into the wilderness, into solitude. Find the world there. Find what matters there. Find yourself there.

When thinking about long term goals, those goals that are several years out, I think the common inclination is to think about what you want to do in that time. For example, a common five year goal might be to be at a specific point in your career or occupation, a certain level of income, to travel to a specific place, or an ambitious fitness goal. While these are all worthwhile goals to focus on, I would argue that in order to best achieve these goals there is an essential question that one first must ask, brainstorm, and meditate on. In fact, these goals should only be based on, and a natural progression from, the following exercise…
Get a large blank piece of paper and a pen or pencil. I recommend paper because this exercise should be done with immediacy and no editing or judgement. The task is to write down any words or phrases that pop into mind. Ask yourself the following question by writing it at the top of the page:
Who am I in X years?
(Where X is any number you want. I like five because it is distant enough to be achievable but not so much as to not also be accountable.)
OK, now go! The method does not matter. If you are a mind map sort of person, do that. Outlines, essay, sketches, just a bunch of words scribbled down, no matter. Like I said, the point is to answer the question with any words or ideas that pop to mind. Even if it is bat scratch crazy, capture it. You will sort it all out later (and I’ll cover that in another post).
There are some other things I’d like to mention about this exercise. First, the phrasing on the question is important. It is not "Who do I want/wish/hope to be?" because that gives you an out. This is not so much about aspirations. This is about projection. This is about putting yourself in the mind of the person you are in the future. This is about the kind of person you really think you are at that time. It will likely not look all that different than who you are now except for the things you wish to change or improve. If you are currently a smoker you might find that, in your five years from now mind, you may find you are a non-smoker. Meat eaters may find a vegetarian when mentally projecting themselves. You may find you are a world leader or circus clown. But, whatever you find don’t judge! Just capture it and move along.
This exercise will form the foundation of your long term goals. Because, none of those will be remotely achievable without this. For instance, how realistic is it for your to set a five year goal of completing a marathon if you do not also see yourself as an active three-to-five time a week runner five years from now as well?
Also, because this is a free form "no judgment" exercise, when using it to plan your goals you will be rewarded with new goals to consider that you might otherwise have not known you had. To use my own mind map pictured above as an example, the word "Monk" popped into my head, I captured it, and I have no idea why it came to mind. But, when beginning the work on my five year goals, I will now need to figure out where that fits and what that means for a happily married father of a little girl who works for himself full time and has many other obligations that "Monk" is in conflict with. Perhaps it doesn’t belong and I’ll ignore it for now. Perhaps it simply speaks to a desire for a deeper and more meaningful spiritual practice than I have today. Perhaps it means a complete change of course. Regardless, at least I am now forced to consider it and where and if it fits into my long term goals.
I encourage you to try this exercise yourself. At the very least, it will help you see for yourself what things are important enough to you today to make sure are a part of your future.