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This past weekend, we spent some time at the Minneapolis Institute of Art (which we refer to as "The MIA" around these parts). We were there for a private art tour for Beatrix’s book club (yes, my almost seven year old belongs to her own book club with several school friends). It was organized by an acquaintance of one of Beatrix’s friend’s parents who also works at the MIA. The tour was based loosely on the book they had just completed reading, Charlotte’s Web. It was a lot of fun for kids and parents alike. Every time we visit the MIA, which ends up being a few times a year, we are reminded just how much we love it and express a desire to make our visits there more frequent.

As our group was gathering, putting away coats, and making general small talk before the tour began, the tour leader mentioned that membership to the MIA was now free. Entry to the museum has always been free (or an optional donation). But the membership, which gave you a fair amount of added benefits, had been a fair price for as long as I remember. He also mentioned that one still gets the same benefits formerly offered at the old entry level membership fee.

I asked him how they were able to do this. As in, how were they able to give something away free that I felt had more than fair value before. He explained that, in part, they had been seeing membership decline steadily for years while at the same time attendance was increasing. That there were several sponsors and foundations that awarded money based on membership levels. Therefore, by increasing membership they would get more money from these large organizations that would hopefully make up the loss. It made sense on one level but on another it really bugged me.

You see, a few years ago we received a family membership to the MIA as a gift. It was a great gift. We would have gone far more often as members that year but, for whatever reason, we had a frustrating and almost comical time actually trying to get the gift membership activated. In fact, it took seven months and multiple calls to several people to finally get our family membership activated. And, when we finally did get it activated, they set the membership expiration date to one year from the date of the gift. In other words, they did not offer at all to grant us the time it took to actually get the membership activated. At that point, we knew it would take even more calls and hassles to get that made right, so we didn’t bother.

But, the thing is, we would make perfect MIA members. Not only do Bethany and I love the MIA, Beatrix loves art museums and loves the MIA especially. We really believe in taking advantage of the wealth of arts experiences the metro area has to offer. We support many other arts organizations with our time, talents, and money. We are active members of other museums in town. In other words, we are exactly the sort of people who would have been paying members and likely for life…

If they had only asked why we weren’t any longer.

I wonder what would have happened, if instead of reducing the price to free, they simply called people who were members at one time and no longer were a simple question — why?. Not some pushy sales call or some temp worker with no power to right any wrongs. Just a simple call from someone who cared to listen and was empowered to "make it right" wherever possible.

We would have told them how much we love the museum, how we really wished we were members still, but that we had such a bad experience with getting the gift membership straightened out and not getting the full year out of it that it left a bad taste in our mouth.

If, then, the MIA representative would have offered something fair — like the ability to purchase a year long membership with the seven months we lost added on for free — we would have jumped at the chance and our faith and generous support of the museum would have been restored.

I wonder how many others like us there are. How many are no longer members because of some bad experience in the past. Perhaps the problem in their declining membership numbers is not because times are tight and people are cutting back. Perhaps it is because the there was a serious problem in the membership process that was never discovered and resolved. Perhaps a phone call and some good will would have turned the tide.

Asking for money is hard work. Asking for money takes courage and a belief that there is real value in what you are selling and the price you put on it is a fair one. It takes believing that there are those to whom this will be obvious and that they are your ideal first customers and that there are many just like them out there just waiting for you to ask. That, people who were once your customers and no longer are likely so for a reason and they are just waiting for you to care enough to ask why. Asking means facing the fear of failure.

Many businesses frame their first dollar bill. It is, in part, pride. A visible symbol that the business is now officially open. That someone cared enough to believe in what they had to sell. But, that framed dollar represents something deeper: That one can frame that one because they believe so strongly in what they are selling. They wont have to break open that frame to get the only dollar they will ever make. They have the courage to believe that another dollar will come along.

Making the price free is easy. It avoids the hard work. You don’t have to face rejection or get past your fear. You don’t have to do the hard work of figuring out and communicating what your value proposition is. And, even still, it assumes that you can’t convince your customers of that value and that your best marketing asset and opportunity for growth is not the people paying for and enjoying your product. Or, in so many cases — even now in the case of the MIA — it proposes that the customers are actually the product you are selling.

Instead, we happily and immediately signed up for the free membership as soon as we got home. We will certainly use it. But we would have anyway and we would have let them know if they had bothered to ask.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world a better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

I’ve decided I’m not going to do some lengthy after action report (AAR for the military nerds) about the successes and failures of last years list of intentions. Let’s just suffice to say that I feel I was about 50/50 on those. I’m trying not to beat myself up about the ones I didn’t succeed at. I’m going to move forward.

Here are the few things I plan on achieving in the coming year.

• Compete the first draft of my next book. This book will be different than anything I’ve ever done before, will require a lot of research, and I got a grant to help with funding it. Therefore, only committing to a “shitty first draft” is far more ambitious than it sounds.

• Monthly date nights with my wife, Bethany. We have been doing this for the past couple of years and it has been very successful and rewarding. It allows us time to connect and remember why it is we got married in the first place. This is also one of the several shared resolutions/intentions — it is on each of our lists. As stated before, resolutions don’t happen in a vacuum.

• Hike. Hike with Family. Hike with Friends. I enjoy hiking. I always have. I did so very actively when I was a teen but don’t do as much now. I’d like to change that. Every time I do get the opportunity to go hiking I’m reminded of how much love it. And, my daughter Beatrix really enjoys it too and we have a blast hiking together whenever we get the chance. Beatrix is naturally a very good hiker. I have taken her on some fairly technical and rough trails and she blows through them like a breeze. I’d like to foster that talent. I’d like to be more intentional about planning and creating those opportunities. This also aligns nicely with Bethany’s desire to enjoy Minnesota more. It has a lot of great trails and nature to offer.

• To use more of what we already have on hand. This is another shared resolution that resonated with both Bethany and I. We have so much on hand that is half used or unused. We resolve to change that by using it or…

• To get rid of the things we don’t use. Not just by throwing away or charity donation. This is also about considering those around us that could benefit from these items more than we can. To see that things we used once but no longer do see a new life being re-used by someone else. We are active on several neighborhood Buy/Sell/Trade boards to help with this. And, our Little Free Library fits into this in the book department.

• Organizing, framing, and hanging our art. Another shared resolution. We have so much art and so many pictures in so many piles. They deserve better. As my wife said simply, “It’s not doing any good sitting in a pile. Print photos and frame them.”

• Finish Winter Street House. I don’t discuss it publicly too much but we have a house that we bought for a song that needed a fair bit of rehab and it has taken me far too long to do. We bit off more than we could chew as quickly as we hoped here. But, it is now way too long and it needs to be done. I have a rough vision of all that remains to achieve that goal. I just need to block out the time to do it.

• Drink more water — especially in winter. It’s just so darn dry here in the wintertime. And I often don’t discover how dehydrated I am until it is too late. I’m going to try to get in the routine of drinking water to help with this. A “glass at wake up, glass before bed” sort of routine.

So, there we have it. Here’s wishing us all success with whatever we endeavor to do in the coming year.

While I am no Bethany Gladhill (my wife, who read 64 books this year) or Austin Kleon, I’m proud that I read almost the same number as I have in years past. Especially as I expect next year to be quite different as I will be reading a lot more for book research than I ever have before. In fact, I have Eric Forner’s six hundred page tome on Reconstruction on deck next.

Without further ado, here is a list of the books I read this past year with short reviews:

The Authentic Swing: Notes from the Writing of a First Novel by Steven Pressfield — About golf and writing and the parallels between the two. Good, easy, book on writing from one of my faves. Some good behind the scenes on the making of the movie, The Legend Of Baggar Vance.

The Martian by Andy Weir — Fantastic and fun novel about an astronaut that gets stranded on Mars and his fight to stay alive and, hopefully, get home. Especially fun for space and science nerds.


Show Your Work!: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered by Austin Kleon — Another wonderful manifesto from one of my favorite creative folks. Solid advice that had me nodding my head in agreement on every page. It was a mistake to go through this the first time without a highlighter and pen in hand. Going to go back through and mark it up. So much good.

Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh — A nice series of essays on finding and living everyday mindfulness by the honored Buddhist Teacher and Peace Activist. Deeply affecting and read at just the right time for me. This is now one of the books I will recommend when people ask me what to read to find out more about Buddhism.

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore: A Novel by Robin Sloan: — I had put this off for a while but then my wife read it and said, “You would love this”. Anytime my wife says that, a book moves to the top of my list. And I did love it. It’s a fun and engaging read about books, cults (both religious and business), mysteries, encryption, and immortality. Only took me a couple of days. Picked it up and spent every free moment reading it until the end.

Choose Yourself by James Altucher — Fantastic. I reviewed this in longer detail here before. This is a must-read survival book for the new economy. As someone who has “chosen himself” already, I’m often asked by those interested in doing so for books, resources, and my own writings on the subject that I recommend. I can confidently say that this book will now be at the top of that list.

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed — Wonderful memoir. Evocative prose. The reasons this book was so popular was not lost on me while reading it. The Minnesota connections resonated with me. Also, gave me a strong sense of wanderlust. It was all I could do to keep from grabbing my ruck and heading out into the woods.

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green — Simply beautiful book about a young woman with terminal cancer. A journey of love, loss, anger, pain, and what it means to be human and dare to dream despite it all. It is a really effortless read that still manages to carry a tremendous amount of emotional weight.

Lexicon by Max Barry — A thrilling and action packed novel about the power of words and the power of love. Could not put this down.

The Sketchnote Workbook by Mike Rohde — A wonderful “next step” followup to his first book. This time, he focuses on the actual practice of Skechnoting and the myriad of situations in which it can be employed. If you care about enhancing the quality and versatility of your note taking, you need this in your library.

Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth by Reza Aslan — Smart and well researched investigation into the Life of Jesus of Nazareth by one of the foremost religious scholars of our time. By setting up the times, places, and conditions Jesus lived in — long before, during, and long after his death — Aslan creates a narrative that is vivid and persuasive. I wish he would have spent more time laying out exactly how in a crowd of people claiming the title and role of messiah, it was a dirt poor day laborer from a town of less than a hundred families that is now known and worshiped the world over. Perhaps that is worth another book entirely. Worth a read no matter your faith.

The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith(J.K. Rowling — The second novel about the adventures of Private Detective Cormoran Strike. As good as the first (better, likely) and a whole lot if fun. I can’t say too much dare I give anything away but, in this one, Cormoran is out to solve a bizarre murder in the London literary world. Highly recommended. Especially, though not required, if you have read the first book.

Babel 17 by Samuel Delany — You know a book will be a big win for me when the hero protagonist is a poet and the McGuffin is the power and complexity of language. This is a well written, taught, and compelling sci-fi thriller. Lots of fun to read.

The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates by Wes Moore — Same name, same age, same neighborhood, similar family circumstances, but what makes one Wes Moore a Rohdes Scholar and the other a prison lifer. That is the not so easily answered premise at the heart of this book. A fascinating true tale that will give some food for thought to the problems facing so many Black youths today.

Indian Summer by Aaron Mahnke — A good New England thriller that follows the lives of seven childhood friends after one of them is killed in an accident. Steeped in the feeling of a coming northeastern fall and Native American lore.

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant — Powerful insight packed into just a few pages. Read it in about an hour. It was an hour well spent.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman — Beautiful and sweet tale of a boy named Bod who, after a tragic event, grows up in a graveyard and his relationships with the ious residents who have taken him under their care. The theme of growing up feeling between two worlds resonated deeply with me. As always with Neil, prepare for some of the most magical yet completely down to earth writing you have read in a while.

Drawn Blades (A Fallen Blade Novel) by Kelly McCullough — The fifth book in the series finds Aral tied up with his old girlfriend, his old Master, his new Apprentice, and a few Gods that just refuse to stay good and dead. Yet another fun read. I really enjoy these.

3 a.m. (Henry Bins Book 1) by Nick Pirog — A fun little whodunnit about a guy who, due to a rare narcoleptic condition, is only awake for one hour starting at 3am every day. A quick read that, as of this writing, is free on the Kindle.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway — The brilliance of Hemingway lies in his ability to take a simple premise and, from that, create a narrative that is at once epic and sweeping yet personal and tightly told. In this case, it is one of Robert Jordan, an American in the International Brigades attached to an antifascist guerrilla unit in the mountains of Spain during the Spanish Civil War. His job is to blow up a bridge but, he finds in the three days he spends with this unit, he builds more bridges than he destroys. There is a reason this is widely considered a masterpiece and the best of Hemingway’s work.

Evil Plans: Having Fun on the Road to World Domination by Hugh MacLeod — I’ve been a fan of MacLeod’s work for a while but had never read this one. He’s always good for a kick in the pants of life when needed.

The Financial Lives of the Poets: A Novel by Jess Walter — This book was a lot of fun to read. Wonderfully written, witty, and downright LOL funny in parts. It’s the story of Matt Prior, an out-of-work journalist at the dawn of the recession on the verge of losing it all — his wife, his home, his father, his kid’s school. One night, while out to the 7/11 for milk, he runs into a couple of young stoners and begins to hatch a plan to reclaim it all. This was a fun way to end the year.

Too many bullets
into too many bodies
placed in too many coffins
buried in too many cemeteries
for too little reason
none of which matter
to the dead or the living
who grieve them
for no reason
would be acceptable
enough to explain
to a mother
to have lost a child
to a brother
who has lost the same
to a community
that has lost hope
that any bullets
will be spent
to protect
the too little
they have too long
fought to call their own
instead of being used
to take too much away
to take away too much dignity
to take away too much justice
to take away too many freedoms
those same over which
too many wars were fought
too many soldiers sent
too many bullets
into too many bodies
in too many coffins
shipped back to
too many countries
for too many reasons
to protect
the too little
they have too long
fought to call their own
to protect dignity
to protect justice
to protect freedoms
they claim are guaranteed
in a country with
not enough stars
and too few stripes
to represent us all

Per request, here is me reading this poem.

This is especially true if you are in a relationship. At the very least most require support from those around us. And, at most, they require their active participation. To wit, the resolutions of others become your resolutions as well (and vice versa) if they require you to participate in order to be successful.
Last year, for instance, my wife decided that one of her resolutions would be for us to have monthly date nights. As parents with a young child, it is important to get some time to connect one-on-one outside of the house. Well, unless her plan was to go out alone, that is a resolution that could not happen without my active involvement. It had to be one of my resolutions too.
I wanted to have friends over for dinner once a month. Well, unless my wife was on board with such a plan, it couldn’t happen. In effect, my intention became a resolution for her as well.
And even those things you think are just for you — to exercise more, to eat better, to meditate — may not be able to be successful without our partners actively supporting those efforts and allowing us the time, space, and resources to achieve them. Accountability helps here too. If those around you know them you are more likely to be held to the goal.
This is all to say that you should be making and considering your resolutions in the proper context. Make sure to discuss them with those around you and that they have a chance to buy-in to them where needed. Find out which ones of theirs will involve you and plan accordingly. Only then will they have a true shot at being successful.

It would seem this is just the time of year for books coming out. It’s not just I that has a new book out, many of my friends do too. I thought it would be nice to make mention of those.

• Rebuilding Blocks: How the Game of Kubb Put My Life Back Together by Garrick van Buren — Garrick is one of my closest friends and a personal mentor. Besides being a successful consultant and father of four, he also is an active tournament-level player of an ancient, nordic, strategy game called Kubb. This book is part memoir, part strategy guide, and part inspirational. But the whole thing is fantastic and a touching story of how an overworked and overwhelmed guy turned it around and now helps others do the same.

• The Art and Science of Vaping: A Beginner’s Guide to Electronic Cigarettes by Brett Kelly — I don’t vape. I don’t plan to vape — ever. Just not something in my wheelhouse. That said, I have many friends that now do and often wonder myself what it’s all about. That’s why I’m going to purchase my friend Brett’s book. This has the “everything you need to know” part covered.

• Consumed by Aaron Mahnke — Aaron has really impressed me with his growth as a writer after reading his last book. Therefore, I’m very much looking forward to this one. A thriller about an aspiring author who’s car breaks down in a small Rhode Island town. It’s not quite out yet but is available for pre-order.

• Raw Materials: Collected Essays by Matt Gemmell — Matt is one of my favorite writers on the web. This is an excellent collection of his best work to date. Highly recommended.

• The Mobile Writer by Julio Ojeda-Zapata — My friend Julio’s book has been out for a while now but it is still an excellent guide to getting writing done on your mobile devices. Tips, tricks, apps — it’s al covered here. Including case studies with many authors who write on-the-go (including your’s truly).

• See You in Paradise: Stories by J. Robert Lennon — A well written and fun collection of short stories by a wonderful writer. He has a number of books but I’d start here. It’s a great introduction to his work.

I may add to this list as I remember others. Like I said, there’s a lot of great stuff coming out right now or real soon. Perfect for stocking up for next year’s reading goals or to give as gifts.

A little self promotion. My latest book, This Could Help, is now officially available on all platforms. It’s a collection of essays and asides, all of which could potentially help you in some way. Each one is purposely written to land hard and make an impact that matters.

It would make a great gift, especially for anyone in your life who could use helpful advice and encouragement. And, frankly, who couldn’t use that?

Here’s where to get it…

• Paperback
• Kindle
• ePub
• iBooks
• Nook

Of course, I would be honored if you checked out and considered buying any of my books. If you enjoy the work I do here, you will certainly enjoy those.

Thanks for everyone who has read my work in any format this year.

“Get away [garbled] … for what? Every time you see me, you want to mess with me. I’m tired of it. It stops today. Why would you…? Everyone standing here will tell you I didn’t do nothing. I did not sell nothing. Because every time you see me, you want to harass me. You want to stop me (garbled) Selling cigarettes. I’m minding my business, officer, I’m minding my business. Please just leave me alone. I told you the last time, please just leave me alone. Please please, don’t touch me. Do not touch me.” — A few of the last words of Eric Garner

I’ve been thinking about the phrase “I can’t breathe”. The actual last words of Eric Garner, who was choked to death by a NYPD officer — who so far has gotten away with the murder. This phrase has since been adopted by those protesting the persistent and unchecked police brutality so prevalent in our nation — especially against people of color. And, while I admire the feeling of helplessness the phrase evokes, a feeling that so many feel in the face of current circumstances, I can’t help but feel, personally, that there is something a bit defeatist about it. I try to put myself in Mr. Garner’s shoes and wonder if lying on the ground, struggling for life, saying that phrase over and over again is how I would want to be remembered.

It stops today.

Instead, it was something Eric Garner said before the choking. It was a statement of defiance. One spoken by a proud man who was tired. Tired of being stopped and harassed for little more reason than being Black in America. A tiredness experienced by far too many who suffer the same. If I were Eric Garner, I would want to be remembered for standing up and saying “It stops today. ” Not for being wrestled to the ground and choked out but for standing tall and proud and asserting my rights as a citizen and a human being. I would want that to be a rallying cry of protest. I would want that to become the song of freedom that brings long sought justice to those being oppressed.

Let us remember him this way. The way we remember Rosa Parks. Proud, tired, and stating with fierce dignity, “It stops today”.

As many know, I’m a light packer for most trips. I recently returned from a trip where I didn’t need to go as light as I usually do and therefore did not. What I found was that there were a few pieces that I brought with me and ended up not wearing. Not for any particular reason — just an extra sweater and an extra pair of pants that I just ended up not needing. It caused me to question whether I really needed either of these items at all.

Here’s the thing about packing light, it’s about more than being able to take only what you need in order to carry less and move fast. It’s not just about knowing what you really need (versus what you think you need) while on the road. It should also help you evaluate the truth of what you need most days at home too. Because, if you can live out of one bag for a week or more while on the road, with some minor additions there is little reason you could not live with the same amount all the time.

For instance, here’s a guy who travels with one backpack all over the world full time. There is no reason he can’t do the same if all of that were in one box and he lived in the same place.

I know some people have jobs that require them to have wardrobe or other items that are a bit more than others. I get that such an idea in not for everyone. I’m also not arguing everyone should live out of one bag. What I am saying is that there is likely little reason why many couldn’t do so. I’m also saying that if you have developed the skill of packing light when you travel, perhaps you could use that as a starting point to apply the same intentions when you are stationary.

If you like this post, you’ll also like my latest book — This Could Help. Buy it today in Paperback, ePub, or Kindle

My little girl, Beatrix, has many unique and endearing qualities. But, one of my favorites is this: With almost everyone she meets, she will notice and pick out one thing she likes and then tell them.
“I like your dress.”
“That’s a pretty necklace you’re wearing”
“You have a nice smile.”
“You are very handsome.”
We are currently on a trip that is partly research for a future book and part vacation. Because of the sorts and frequency of encounters we have with people we have not met or only deal with in passing, I’ve had the occation to notice how much she does this. And I am always giddy at seeing the delight of these people, completely disarmed by the perceptiveness and charm of a six year old. One who always finds something nice to say about everyone.
She does this on her own and without prompting from either of us. It is not something we have explicitly or implicitly taught her to do. Nor does she see us do it with such frequency. Especially not with complete strangers or during transactional interactions (i.e store clerks, wait staff, etc.) as she almost always does. It’s just who she is.
It has occurred to me how much better everything might be if we all found one thing with everyone we meet and said something nice about it or them. Even (or especially) those times it is most hard to find something. For instance, someone we disagree with or someone we don’t particularly like.
It also has occurred to me that, in order to practice this regularly one must be fully present in their encounters. You can’t pay partial attention to the checkout person while rustling for your credit cards. You have to be fully present with them to notice the nice earrings they are wearing or the spectacular color of their eyes. And, if you are more present with everyone you meet, you are also more present in that moment with yourself.
That said, I aim to take a lesson from my daughter and do so more often. Not just to make the world a bit better and someone else’s day a bit better but to at the same time make myself a bit better too.
If you like this post, you’ll also like my latest book — This Could Help. Buy it today in Paperback, ePub, or Kindle