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Category: post

The Summer of Ownership

As we near then end of the season, I’ve started to meditate on it and take stock. This has been an interesting summer for sure. Filled with too many good moments to count. A bit crazy making at times, but even the downsides have informed my wife and I in important ways.

Yet, as I have thought about it personally, the theme that keeps coming back up again and again is one of ownership — specifically, my taking ownership of tasks and projects despite my fears, challenges, lack of knowledge, or other encumbrance that, in the past, I’ve used as an excuse not to. Here are just a few of the many examples that pop up in my mind.

  • I suck at sketching and drawing. At least, I think I do. I’ve always been self critical about it. Yet, I’ve been working to improve this as I’ve always admired others that are really good at it and it is a skill I have long wished to have. Getting to know, and have the skilled teaching, of Mike Rohde has helped quite a bit. While his personal encouragement and support in this area have been essential, his books have been especially important in spurring me to push well past my comfort zone. I’ve not only tried sketchnoting at conferences and meetings but I have been creating practice opportunities at least once a week by watching and sketchnoting TED Talks and other such things. Heck, this past Sunday I spent at least a half hour just practicing drawing coffee cups – coffee cups! The point being that this is a skill I’ve long struggled with personally, desired to be better at, and have actively take ownership of the work required to so so.

  • I certainly don’t consider myself "handy" but woodworking has long been something I wish I knew how to do. So, building my wife a little free library was a real push of my self-perceived limits even with the expert help of a good friend. The final result of the library itself was spectacular. But, more than that, I learned so much building it and gained a tremendous amount of confidence in my ability to tackle other building projects I’ve long wanted to tackle.

  • I’ve never implemented a website for a client that someone else was hired to design. One of the reasons was the fear of my ability to do so. When I do the design, I have the control and will only design something I know I can build. If someone else does the design, I previously had doubted my skills and abilities to execute it — what if they designed something I did not know how to do? Well, a couple of months ago, I had to confront this fear and doubt head on with a new site for an existing client that they had hired someone else to copy-write and design, but wanted me to build. It was a situation that I did all I could to try to avoid but, in the end, had to suck it up and get it done. And, you know what? It turned out great (it is still not live yet so, unfortunately, I can’t link to the results). Not only did I surprise myself with the knowledge and skill I already had, I also was forced to learn a few new things that will serve me and other clients well in the future.

There have been many other examples as well. The point being that I’ve been pretty proud of the fact that I have stepped up in areas I would previously have passed off, hired out, or stepped away from. And, every single time I have been the better for doing so.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

My New Bicycle

This past weekend, I found the perfect bike. I’m pretty excited about it. It’s a 1973 Raleigh Grand Prix.

I came upon it at a garage sale. Luckily, the price was right ($45) and the seller noted on the price tag that it was recently tuned up. I’d been looking for a bike like this for a long time so the second I saw it I knew it would be mine. After one test ride around the block, some cash quickly exchanged, and a little happy dance performed, it was mine.

About 10 years ago, I had just purchased a brand new Trek 820 Mountain Bike and rode it only a couple of times before I met my wife. It was an ill considered purchase in hindsight. My wife never learned how to ride a bike (a fact I hope to help change soon) so into the garage the Trek bike went and I took it out for a spin only about once a year. Partly, because I did not want to ride for hours without her and partly because I did not really like the bike that much. I wanted something light and fun to ride. Preferably, something vintage with a bit of character like my old pickup truck. Something that begged to be used.

Like the Raleigh I now own.

My wife just got a new/used bike from a friend who is taking a job out of the country so, now, she can learn and we can both ride happily together.

I can’t wait.

Some Places You’ll Find Me

I was away on vacation for most of this past week. We were up on Madeline Island, part of the Apostle Island chain in Lake Superior. Most of the island gets no cellular reception at all and few of the privately rented places (like the one we were at) have internet service as they are only used seasonally. Therefore, it is a good place to truly get away from it all.

The time spent was great. I got a ton of reading done — finished one book and put a major dent in my Instapaper queue. I spent some great quality time with my family over dips in the water, canoeing, and fires on the beach. We also have some friends who were up on the Island at the same time. So, it was great being able to share a few meals with them and watch Beatrix charm them like putty in a warm hand. In all, it was a great vacation.

That said, there are a few appearances I made before leaving that were released recently and I wanted to mention those…

  • I was on episode #130 of the Mikes on Mikes podcast where we discussed a couple of big productivity related ideas. The first of these was around a recent post by Mike Vardy about what is lost in the “Just Ship It” mindset — namely, delivering. Next, I discussed some new thinking I have come around on — due in large part to my friend Garrick — regarding blocking out time on your calendar for any task you wish to accomplish. I also asserted that, until one makes such time for any task it is essentially a wish and nothing more. Needless to say, I got a bit of pushback on this one. That said, I’m really happy with how this turned out and think it is worth a listen.

  • I was also interviewed for the latest issue of the Alpha Efficiency Magazine with a focus on Honesty and Self Belief. It is a good, short, to the point interview. Once again, I think it turned out well and it is worth your time.

  • Ben Brooks was kind enough to reach out to me for my thoughts on why we don’t mind that some of our tools and gear get a bit beat up while others we treat with kid gloves. My take — it’s about purpose.

Of course, I’ve been busy at my regular places since I’ve returned, too. The Cramped and Minimal Mac have both seen new posts and I have some more lined up to write soon. Stay tuned.

Things I Love — Patagonia Houdini Jacket

We’ve been having some strange weather this year. One minute it is partly cloudy with lots of sun, and just a few minutes later it is a pouring deluge. Lots of very windy days too. You just never know what the weather is going to hold.

Thankfully, this spring I bought a Patagonia Houdini Jacket. It has really been nice to have. It’s super lightweight and breathable. When on, it feels like you are wearing nothing extra but it does a great job protecting one against a chilly wind or most light drizzles. And, thanks to its light and breathable nature, a good run or other athletic activity is not out of the question (in fact, it is designed for such).

But perhaps the best part is that it packs into its own chest pocket resulting in a package about the size of a frozen burrito. Easy to throw into a bag or even a side pocket of your chinos. Mine pretty much stays with me in recent days. You just don’t know what surprises the weather now holds.

Your Independence Day

When the American Revolutionaries gathered to declare their Independence from Great Britain, it was really just the beginning of a hard fought war to actually achieve that goal. It was not until the Treaty of Paris, signed on September 3, 1783 that this freedom was secured.

It is because of this that one might find it a good day for personal reflection. One to seek, discover, and declare those things in life we want to declare our own independence from.

Is there is an unhealthy relationship in your life you know it’s time to be free of? Maybe, there is a task or project that hangs over you. One you need to either complete or walk away from. Or, a habit or addiction that is time to break free of. Then, there is freedom from debt or financial freedom. Freedom from having to worry. All of us have something we wish we could be free of.

Perhaps, this is a good day to declare your independence from something. Sit down, grab a paper and pen, date it, write it out, and sign your name. Tack it up in a prominent place so that you are forced to remember this day — your independence day.

Freedom from anything that takes away value from our lives is, like those brave revolutionaries discovered, worth fighting for. And, stating definitively what you are fighting for is a reminder of what makes the time, effort, blood, tears, wins, losses, and every thing else it takes worth it.

Items of Interest #16

Here are some things. Things you might enjoy. Things that may inform. Things that may entertain.

That should keep you busy for a while. It’s a short week so I know you weren’t planning on getting any work done anyway.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world a better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

The Fucks and How We Give Them (A Manifesto)

The older I get, the fewer fucks I’m willing to give.

The fucks I have to give are few, finite, and often fleeting. Therefore, I’m careful about those that I give.

There are only so many fucks one can give in a lifetime anyway.

I only want to give my fucks where they can make a difference.

I am strategic with the fucks I give.

I am intentional with the fucks I give.

Most things we encounter in life are not worth our fucks.

Most “news” is designed to trick us into giving our fucks to things that don’t deserve them or where they have no value.

Most “stuff” is designed to trick us into giving a fuck about things that have no true utility.

In fact, many things in our society are purpose build to trick us into giving a fuck where it matters least and serves us even less.

Just because someone tells me I should give a fuck does not mean I should give a fuck.

Just because you give a fuck does not mean I should give a fuck.

Our fucks are our fucks alone to give.

It’s OK for you to give a fuck about something that I don’t give a fuck about.

Where we give our fucks is our own business.

I judge no one based upon where they choose to give their fucks. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck.

Unless, you give a fuck about something that directly harms me. In which case, I will likely give a fuck.

In order to expect anyone to give a fuck about you, you must first give a fuck about yourself.

My giving a fuck about what you think of me is directly connected to how much of a fuck I give about you.

Most ideas we encounter are worth listening to but, then, quickly deciding if they are worth a fuck.

The really important things are worth at least two fucks.

Any time given to whether or not one should give a fuck about something is time well spent. Except, where not giving a fuck should be obvious.

Always appreciate when someone gives a fuck about you. Make sure to thank them for giving a fuck.

The next time you feel yourself getting outraged, stop to ask yourself if you should really, truly, give a fuck about it. You will find that most of the time the answer will be, “No. I don’t give a fuck.”

Our enjoyment of life increases with the less fucks we give.

Giving a fuck about things that are worth it are what make life meaningful.

I do give a fuck about offending people with this message through the profanity with which I’ve chosen to deliver it. But I give more of a fuck about calling it like I see it, telling it straight, and not fucking around.

I give more than a few fucks about the truth (as I see it).

Truth is the perspective you choose to give a fuck about.

And, I give a fuck about sharing this one with you.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world a better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

Make It Real

When I come up with a new idea or a new project, I find that simply writing it down amongst the daily scribbling in my journal is nice but no guarantee of it ever becoming anything more than that. Instead, I find that if it is something I’m really serious about, I need to take a small step towards making that idea real.

For instance, Twyla Tharp notes in her wonderful book, The Creative Habit, that every new project for her starts with a box. She notes:

Everyone has his or her own organizational system. Mine is a box, the kind you can buy at Office Depot for transferring files. I start every dance with a box. I write the project name on the box, and as the piece progresses I fill it up with every item that went into the making of the dance. This means notebooks, news clippings, CDs, videotapes of me working alone in my studio, videos of the dancers rehearsing, books and photographs and pieces of art that may have inspired me.

As you can see, it’s nothing big. It’s just some words on a box. But it is about everything that box now represents. It is a simple start, a promise to fill it, and a goal to finish the project. The box is a commitment.

It doesn’t have to be anything special — or even a box. Make a folder for your idea or write the project name and date at the top of a fresh notebook page. The point is to do something. To take the first step. To own it.

Getting Started (After Only Twenty Years)

There is a science fiction story I have had brewing in my head now for over twenty years. It started as just a very simple idea. A “what if” question. A spark of something. For years and years I brushed it aside whenever it popped into view. I always had, what I felt, were valid excuses for writing it off. Here’s how the dialog would most often happen inside my head…

“I’m not a fiction writer.”

“I’m certainly not a science fiction writer.”

“But, it’s a really good idea.”

“Maybe, it would be good to give to one of my friends that are, accomplished, science fiction writers.”

I would act on this. I would tell it to my sci-fi writer friends in passing. They would kindly hear me out, but express no real interest in stealing it from me. “It’s a good idea.”, they would say. “You should write it.”

“But I don’t know how?”, I would resign.

And, so, back into the the bin it would go. Only to pop back up next week/month/year. But, each time a little bit closer — more fully formed each time it returned. Closer to a real story.

The excuses to avoid it, therefore, had to become even more deft…

“I can see the story but I have no idea who would tell it.”

“Where is the voice of the story coming from?”

“Without a voice, you can’t tell a story.”

I would shove it into the bin again — with force and prudence. Convinced that this idea was beyond my reach creatively. It was not my genre. I had no voice. I only had rough ideas and sketches and major details. But, I had not the talent nor skill to weave together into a coherent narrative.

But the idea keeps coming back. It haunts me. It now wakes me up in the middle of the night. It keeps me from being able to rest. Each time getting closer. Showing me a little bit more of itself.

“Write.”, it says.

A few weeks back it gave me it’s voice. I now know who is telling the story and why. And, last night, It came to me in a dream. The opening scene at least. It was lucid while I was barely so. I saw our protagonist. I knew his motivations. It was a start. It was not the whole story. But, it was enough for me to get the opening lines down first thing this morning.

Y’weh sits on the bench with his face in his hands. He’s tired. Lately, he sits here in much the same position before the work day begins. Exhausted before he has even started. His lab coat feeling like a burial shroud. He’s been at this job for a very long time. And, if he could find another — if he had a choice — he would. But, once you start The Process, you can’t stop the stars. You have to see them through.

It may take me another twenty years to finish. But, today, I finally exhausted all of my excuses — I started.

About My Personal Brand…

Over the ten-plus years of this blog, I have had many people comment on the look and feel of the site. They like my “logo” or the “clean and minimal look and feel”1. They like the consistency of my “branding” across all of my sites2. Or, any number of things along these same stylistic lines.
They think, that in order to be even moderately successful one needs this sort of “personal brand strategy” to be taken seriously. That, they can’t get started doing what it is they want to do without figuring such things out first.
The problem is that what they see as my personal brand is not, in fact, my personal brand. How my site or logo or business cards or the fact that they are all nicely matchy-matchy have nothing to do with my personal brand.
Because, I now know that worrying about “personal branding” and “social media strategy” and the rest of that silliness has ZERO to do with success. You know what that stuff is?
1) An excuse to cover up the fear of not getting started doing what you say you want to do by telling yourself you need all of that stuff to start or be successful.
2) Something for people who wish to capitalize on that fear to tell you need to get so they can sell it to you and make themselves successful.
Here are two examples of people far more successful than me who care nothing about their “personal brand”. Both of these people started in exactly the same place we all have and are huge successes with ZERO attention paid to what most people think is personal branding:

  • Seth Godin — Seth doesn’t even host a blog on his own domain name. He uses TypePad for gosh sake! The only personal brand he has is this: He shows up, every day, with helpful advice about (mostly) marketing and life. He shows up with a desire and willingness to create things that help people be better at sales and marketing.
  • Alan Weiss — Look at that website? It’s like an assault on your eyes! And, his Twitter handle isn’t even his name. It’s the damn car he drives. Yet, he makes millions in consulting fees every year and has written some of the most sought after, expensive, and hard to find (because they are always out of stock) books on the subject of consulting and life-balance. He shares his knowledge and tough love. He shows up with a desire and willingness to create things that help people be better and more successful consultants.

The desire and willingness to create things that genuinely help people is the only business plan and personal brand you need. With this, you can get started today. No fancy website or business cards needed.
Do you or do you not want to help people? If so, then do so. Don’t wait until you come up with a “personal brand”. Because, what you call my “personal brand” is not, in fact, my personal brand.
You know what my personal brand really is? I’ll give you a hint: It has nothing to do with my “simple, minimal, and unique branding”. It is the ONLY thing that has made me as moderately successful as I am…
The only personal brand I strive to develop is genuine kindness and a desire to help others.
That is my personal brand.
If you want to copy something, copy that. If you want to have any chance of being successful, start there. And, when you do, measure your success not in money, but in the number or people you genuinely and selflessly help.
You don’t need to pay me, hire me, have my consultation, ask my permission, or anyone else’s for that matter. You don’t even need a domain name for now if you don’t have one — Just ask Seth. In the words of Steve Jobs, “Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.”
Are you willing to do the work? Do you, or do you not, want to help people?
You need to stop stalling, get out there, and have a willingness and desire to create something that helps people right now — Today.
I hope this helped. I really do.

  1. Here’s a little secret I’m going to tell you… It’s simple because I don’t have the skills to do more than that. I’m a writer, not a designer. I use this weakness to my advantage. ↩
  2. I like black, grey, and red as a color combination. It’s not a strategy, it’s a preference. ↩