Category: post

No |skidz|referrer|byffk
one is wise enough by himself. —Titus Maccius Plautus

People often ask how it is I come up with topics, thinking, and ideas to post here daily. The truth is, I have a lot of help. I have said before that one of the keys to writing is to live a life worth writing about. Such a living is intentional. It is not enough to live through it and let it happen to you. You must surround yourself with interesting and inspirational, friends, family, children, environments, situations, etc.

I’m very lucky (and remember that luck shows up for those already working). I have a regular start of the week coffee meeting with a friend who is one of the smartest people I know. I discuss some of my ideas and thinking with him and our discussion always leads to ways to improve or expand them. I also am married to one of the other smartest people I know and our conversations often produce similar fruit. Then, there is Beatrix. My little girl is always a study in creativity and unrestrained joy. There are also the places I choose to go and the things I choose to do. And I do my best to be present for and observe as much as I can about all of it.

The fact is that I write about nothing in solitude. Without this life and these people in it, I would be empty.

One |fnees|referrer|zyeyn
of the ideas I have been pondering lately is one imparted to me by my friend Garrick:

“If you decide to do something, you can do anything.”

So many people are ruled by indecision. They await clarity as if it is a train that runs on Swiss time. They want to know the answers before they ask the questions. They seek the outcome before the action. So many people who’s lives are frozen in so many places. Stuck.

But, really, all they need is to get past that comma.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

The |tfhsi|referrer|nhiih
story I want to tell you about the GORUCK Challenge is likely not the story you are expecting to hear. I’ve written the rough outlines of those stories before. And others have detailed them as well. So, all of the pieces you may have heard about or imagined were certainly there.

I could tell you about the couple of hours we spent doing push-ups. Then squats and flutter kicks with our brick filled packs held high over our heads. Then lunges, and bear crawls, and buddy drags, and low crawls. All of this in wet snow and on ice on a cold night with rain just about to start, so the cold set into our bones in seconds and never seemed to leave.

I could tell you about the buddy carries we did for 2.5 miles through the heart of downtown just as it started to thunderstorm and how I was picked as one of the "wounded" that needed to be carried. But this was actually not a bonus because it meant not much movement so the rain and the cold set in even deeper. I’ve never shivered so badly and deeply for so long and hard in my life.

I could tell you about the bear crawls across the .7 mile bridge in the rain which at least got me moving and warming up but to such a point I was too tired to do them properly and kept dropping to a knee crawl. My knees, thus, quickly bruising and becoming a bloody painful mess.

I could tell you about then running to our first break point, which at this time was about 6 hours in. We had enough time to find a tree and take a piss or fill my now nearly depleted hydration bladder, but not both. I found a tree.

I could then mention the "nukes" that the Cadre found for us to move 4.7 miles. Concrete parking barriers — four of them — were the nukes. We split up into 4 teams with a couple of people left out to rotate in as those carrying needed a break. Yes, it rained the whole time. My shoulders became bruised and battered with the sharp edges of the rock studded concrete digging into them.

The rain finally let up around the time we dropped off the "nukes" in their safe zone. We were given another 10 minute break here. Just enough time for another bathroom break and to shove some nutrition in. We then ran fartleks across a bridge to the other side of the river where we "saved American lives" by picking up an IED in the form of a large fallen tree. Which we carried for a mile or so before "saving more American lives" by picking up another of slightly larger and heavier size. We carried them both for about 5 miles.

I could tell you that we then finished things off with a five mile march through the city streets. Most of us exhausted, drained, and still wet and cold despite the fact that it had stopped raining hours before and the sun was beginning to break free of the clouds. The Cadre finally let us go after 13 hours and 15 miles of this hell.

But the story I wish to tell, the one that will stick with me, is that of my friend Ayn. You see, Ayn is one of the toughest people I have ever met. She participated in the last GORUCK Challenge, the one I was supposed to be in last year before having to bow out due to injury. I shadowed anyway and got to witness the spectacle that is Ayn. She is pure attitude. And what she lacks in size she more than delivers in spit and vigor and strength and gusto. All the time flashing her knowing grin. The one that not-so-silently laughs at you for ever underestimating her. The one that lets you know that the harder you make it, the more she will enjoy the test of her resolve.

So, it was no surprise when Ayn showed up again for this one. It was also no surprise that every time I even thought of quitting all I had to do was look at her and know it was all mental and that I needed to smile and embrace the suck. There were more than a few times I said, "I can’t" aloud in the middle of some new struggle. There were more than a few times she was next to me or in front of me or behind me saying, "Yes you can!". For the first few hours anyway.

The surprise came somewhere on the other side of bear crawl bridge when I started to notice a turn in Ayn. I could tell that the wet and cold were beginning to get the best of her. Hypothermia was just over the edge and she could feel it coming on. A few others noticed it too. They tried to huddle-hug her to keep her warm. They rubbed her arms and back vigorously to try to create some heat. Nothing seemed to work.

I’m not quite sure when but, at one point while carrying those "nukes", I overheard her say to the Cadre she was close to quitting. That the cold was getting the best of her and that she was going to give in. That she had never quit anything in her life but this might be the day. It was then that I stepped into the conversation and took off my jacket and gave it to her and made her put it on. She was a source of strength to me. An example to follow. I realized that if she quit then I would have one less person to lead me. One less person to say, "Yes you can!" Perhaps the most important one here (to me) would be gone.

After it was all said and done, and she gave me back my jacket, she said that if not for having it she surely would have quit. What she likely does not realize, and what I hope to make clear, is that keeping her from quitting is what got me through. If I had not given her the jacket I might have quit too.

I’ve heard more than a few Cadre in the course of my research about the Challenge tell the teams, "Look at the person to the left of you. Look to the person on the right. This is not about you. It’s about them!"

These words kept running through my head every time I wanted to give up. If I quit, I was not really letting myself down. I was letting down my teammates who I had pledged to be there for. Conversely, if I had quit, in a way I would be telling them they let me down. This idea rang no more true to me than when I gave Ayn my jacket. It was not about me, it was about her.

If you are considering taking the Challenge yourself, this is the biggest lesson I learned and can impart. Please realize that the point of the Challenge is to show you a side of yourself you never thought possible. A side that not only has the mental and physical strength to do it, but also the compassion and sacrifice to give yourself up for others so that they may do the same for you. Because the very essence of teamwork is to help everyone else get the job done knowing and trusting that they are doing the same for everyone else and you. Only then will you see that no one gets through this Challenge (or this life) alone. And this is why we do it.

Yesterday I asked if there was anything I could do for you. I a a few people ask in return if there was anything they could do for me. I thought I would share that here as well.

First of all, I write here every day. Every day, I face the fear and try to put ideas out into the ether with the hope that it will have meaning and value to someone else (perhaps even you). I write because I believe that words have the power to change the world. A little silly and idealistic, I know. But I still believe it. That said, I do know that, occasionally, something I write might land with someone in a way that makes a meaningful difference and, well, to them it might, in fact, be world changing. ¹

But, here’s the thing, there may be someone out there that needs to be reading this stuff but is unaware of it. Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you share this with others. Let others know that I post here daily and that you think it is worth checking out. If it feels right, please share this site or my work on social networks, on your own blog, or tell a friend to check it out face to face. Especially if what I write here resonates with you, it likely will with others you know as well.

Secondly, if you really like the work I publish here daily, and you have not yet done so, I really would appreciate it if you purchased my books. As an independent writer, this really is a primary way of support. Most of my income comes from my writing and a significant part of that is through sales of my books. It not only helps support the work I do here but allows me to keep doing it which, I hope, is of some value to you.

Finally, I often put a free will donation blurb at the end of many of my posts. I like to think of this as a tip jar. If you enjoyed what you read, consider throwing a little bit my way. It does let me know it is being appreciated.

Regardless of any of the above, writers write to be read. You have already helped me in the greatest way possible by taking your time to do so now. Thank you.

Seriously.You see, I believe one of the most powerful abilities that the Internet gives to us is the ability to reach out to others, ask for, and receive, help. In that spirit, since you are kind enough to show up here every day to hear what I have to say, I would like to offer you the same in return. Let me know, anytime, if there is something that I might be able to help you with. I certainly will do so if I can.

For example, perhaps you need some advice about backup or becoming a freelancer. Maybe you have a product you would like for me to take a look at and give some feedback. Maybe you are struggling with depression as I have so many times in the past and would like a knowing ear to listen. Maybe you have something that you’ve written and are proud of that you would like me to read. Seriously, send it my way.

Though, I’m not always quick about it — it often takes me a few days to respond. The fact is, I do get a few of these sorts of emails each week and those who have sent them can tell you that I always respond and try to be as helpful as I can be. If there is not a way for me to help, for whatever reason, I will graciously tell you so and hope there are no hard feelings.

OK, now with the caveats explained and out of the way, get in touch via email if there is something I can do for you.

I’m a full-time independent writer who works hard to bring you quality reading and ideas here daily. If you enjoy what you read here, please consider a free will donation of any amount.

As the first day of April has largely come to be the day where nothing but jokes, fake press releases, preposterous rumors (or, at least, more preposterous than they are normally), expensively produced videos for products that will never exist by companies that kill real products to “focus”, and the infinite re-sharing-blogging-tweeting-plussing of such, I think it is high time that those who reject such foolishness and need to get real work done take this day back.
I say we make this first of April, and every first of April to come, the day where we take a digital sabbatical (at the very least, an online one). We use this day to take a break. Perhaps get an honest day’s work in. Maybe brush off that old notebook and sharpen that pencil and write out the things you’re going to get done tomorrow. If you are at work, perhaps this is a good day to clean your office. If at home, take the kids out to a museum. Perhaps this is the day to put on your favorite road songs, get in the car, pick a direction, and drive for a few hours and see where you end up. Because that place, no matter where it is, will be better than just about anything else you will see online today. I think you get the idea.
Because, well, it is already pretty difficult to sift the meaning from the noise from the constant connection. It is even more so when you have to question almost everything you see on it for a day. Life is short. There are better things to do. Ignore it today. It’ll still be here (and, hopefully, back to normal) tomorrow.
I’ll see you then.
I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

I will eventually regale you with the full story of my GORUCK Challenge experience. It was, by almost any standard, one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced yet also one of the most rewarding and educational.

For now, I’m exhausted, in pain, drained, and almost delirious with tiredness. So, such tales will follow, I promise. Let me just suffice to say that I had amazing teammates and every stitch of it was earned by them as much as myself. And that is, perhaps, the most important lesson that this experience teaches. It’s not about you, it’s about every other member of your team. It’s as much your job to get yourself through as it is to get them through (actually, more so). What gets you through is that they hold this same standard for themselves and you. And this is the very definition of teamwork.

If you are reading this today, I’m likely under some log, or weight, or human in the GORUCK Challenge. Not much more to say other than I will see you on the other side.

That’s what the world tells us.

“It’s too hard.”

“It’s too expensive.”

“It doesn’t pay well enough. “

“How are you going to support yourself?”

“Your chances are between slim and none.”

“No one really does that for a living.”

“That’s not a real job.”

These are the sorts of things that we hear. It usually starts after early childhood. When those dreams of being anything you want to be…

“I want to be an astronaut!”

Because your parents tell you you can grow up to be anything you want if you put your mind to it…

“I want to be President!”

Because they really do wish it to be true for you…

“I want to be a Mutant Ninja Ranger!”

Because they love you and don’t want you to believe otherwise….

“I want to be a Kangaroo!”

Usually begin to be crushed not too long after by the realities and the expectations of a world that tells us otherwise. By schools that teach us to conform. By companies that teach us to consume. By societies that teach us to blend in.

They do this in a iety of ways. They tell us any of those excuses above. They fill us with fear of failure measured against their interpretations of success. They promote the value of easy over hard, of cost over worth, of reality over dreams.

“You are [insert some perceived impediment here] so you can’t be an astronaut.”

“The chances of being the President, especially for a [insert some stumbling block here] kid, are so small you might want to try for something a bit more realistic.”

“There are no such things as Mutant Ninja Rangers.”

“Humans can’t be kangaroos.”

But most of all, they figure out every possible way to make us believe in one big idea…

“You can’t.”

But, here’s a secret I’m going to tell you. One that I wish I could travel back in time to tell my five year old self. One that I wish I could tell to your five year old self too.

The world is wrong. You really can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it. Those that do so, those that dare to dream and who refuse believe in limitations always figure out a way. The kid who rejects such notions becomes the adult who shows it all to be a lie. And, for every “can’t”, I’m betting there is at least one example of someone who proves the “can too”.

There are examples of astronauts who were told they couldn’t be because of their gender. There are real-life superheroes who spend time dressed up in costume doing real-life good deeds and crime fighting. I’m sure we can find at least one person who lives as a kangaroo. And I’m sure our current President was told countless times he could never be President because of his race.

My point being is that, while it may not always be easy and the chances may be far against you, it does not mean what you dream of doing is impossible. That is what they want you to believe and it is a lie. And the sooner you believe that whatever crazy, outlandish, daring, brash, or, maybe even, important idea you have is possible the quicker you can get on with the work of finding a way to do it.

Many of you know that my usage of Twitter has declined dramatically. In fact, up until a couple of months ago I was on an extended sabbatical from it. There were a iety of reasons for this, as there also were for my return. That said, if you’ve followed me on Twitter you may have noticed that my posting on it is sparse and tends to be mostly for promotional purposes.

Another big reason for that is that I have largely switched to App.net for my more sociable pursuits. I appreciate the fact that it is a paid service supported directly by it’s users. I find the community that I’m building there to be smart and strong. I also appreciate the larger character limit as it allows for more complex expression. There is where I post ideas, quotes, interesting links, and the other things those that used to follow me on Twitter used to see from me there.

I really like it. I think you will like it too. I have 50 invites to give away on a first come, first serve, basis. All you need to do is click here and, if you are among the first 50, you will be in and automatically following me.

See you there.