I’m one of those people who loves to help others. It fills me with a sense of satisfaction and usefulness. Therefore, I enjoy when people reach out and ask for my help with a problem I can solve. It feels really good to meet a real need.
Paradoxically, I’m terrible at asking for help when I need it. I feel guilty and ashamed. I feel like I’m asking for something I don’t deserve. But, when I do humbly accept and receive help I really needed, it feels so good.
I was last night years old when it occurred to me that in asking for help I’m likely opening the opportunity for those, like myself, that really are filled up by helping. It is a gift for them as much as it is a blessing for me. That by being vulnerable I’m allowing others to use their strengths. Also, I’m making it easier for them to ask of me in the future. Not because we consider a favor owed but because we have an understanding of the symbiosis between the helper and the helped. We’ve humbled ourselves and have been seen vulnerable and thus communicate to the other that it is safe to do so with us.